I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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