They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
