her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
