i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
