He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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