Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
