so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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