She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He shit in the fireplace
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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