i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
