Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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