drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
