Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
