Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.

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(646): View more from New York

miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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(509): View more from Washington

Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.

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(563): View more from Iowa

My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.

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