Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
