i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
