So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
