my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
