listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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