it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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