btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do vagina's smell?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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