I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
