Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
