By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
