Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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