Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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