Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
