scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my being single is dangerous.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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