Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
