New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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