he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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