I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you win again, gameday.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
