Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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