I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
