the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
