I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
