No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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