Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
