Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
