How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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