He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you didnt know i had herpes?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
