So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
