So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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