i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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