I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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