I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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