Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
