Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
