What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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