thus making me awesome and them whores
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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