i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
