My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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